A Grandmother Passes

Has this happened to you? I can say honestly that it has happened to me.

A card, letter, story read, television show watched or an email read has a theme or a mantra that I genuinely believe at the time that I am going to put into practice in my life. The messages that I have seen or read are different variations of “make sure you tell loved ones that you love them before it is too late” or something to that effect.

Too soon the actions of living and surviving take control of my mind and that fleeting thought of telling the ones I value and love gets lost or sorely minimized in my daily schedule. I look back and can remember when many opportunities were there that would have made my life fuller and another’s happier.

I am writing this in the hope that everyone who reads this will take the time “to cherish” the people in their lives; take that small amount of time to say “I value you, I respect you or I love you. I do not want you to have to experience the sadness or regret that can come from not having told someone how much they mean to you while they were still alive. The family of the woman I write about today had to say words to her never knowing if she understood.

Today this Good Friday my sister Allana’s ex-mother in law died of a massive stroke. Her name was Barbra and she was eight-nine years of age.

Allana left her home on Thursday afternoon to travel to and visit with her daughter and grandchildren in Armstrong for the Easter weekend. Armstrong is a small town north of Kelowna. Night was beginning to fall by the time she reached Kelowna, where her ex-mother in law lived, she stopped for the night intending to resume her trip to Armstrong in the morning. The next morning as Allana was doing the dishes in Barbra’s kitchen; Barbra entered and asked Allana to pull out a chair for her as she could not. Allana noticed that Barbra’s right arm was hanging at her side, Allana asked her to lift the arm, when she was unable to so Allana ran to the bedroom where her son (he lived with his grandmother) was sleeping calling to him that she thought there was something wrong with Gram.

She was gone from the kitchen no more than a few seconds, when she came back into the room she could see that Barbara had worsened, she had collapsed and was un-responsive. She now screamed for her son to get up and call 911.

Mid morning is when Allana called me to talk about what had happened, she called again just after lunch to say that the Doctor’s had done a Cat-scan on Barbra and discovered that she had suffered a massive stroke, in effect leaving her brain dead. Allana’s ex-husband had been called and was driving the three and a half hours to Kelowna as we spoke the second time. The rest of Barbara’s children and grandchildren gathered in the late afternoon. Once everyone had arrived at the hospital and were able to say their goodbye’s to the unconscious Barbara she was taken off life support and passed away shortly after.

Today another grandmother is gone from the ones who loved her. I felt for my sister Allana, she had lived in real time the loss of her children’s paternal grandmother. The day that she had just gone through was almost an exact replay of how our mother died nine years ago. The group of family that gathered today and that of our family nine years ago were left with having to say that we loved the Mother/grandmother that lay in the bed more to ourselves than to the vibrant person who had been such a large and important part of our lives.

BCG

Melissa, Vanessa, Chantelle

Melissa, Vanessa, Chantelle - the other special granddaughters in my life - I will be writting soon about them - along with Ashley, Travis, Aric and Matt the three girls make a total of seven grandchildren for me - lucky or what? Yes I am!

The vines and the mushies

This story takes place about ten years ago – at a time when I thought of myself as vibrant and still youthful – looking through the eyes of a three and a half year old, dashed those thoughts right out of my brain one early morning 

My sister Allana and I were visiting my daughter and her family and had partied pretty good the evening before – I crawled out of bed – needing desperately to wake my foggy brain - took myself outside to the back deck for my morning cup of tea and my vice the morning cigarette – even though it was a chilly morning I was still in my nighty and housecoat – soon after taking my first sip of tea Aric (the blond baby) came out to join me – I had my legs crossed and he soon noticed a cluster of small spider veins on the inside of my right knee – he said “Grandma what are those vines” – “What vines?” I say – “the ones on your leg” Aric replies – I realize that the vines he is talking about is the spider vein array on my knee – after all he is not yet four and to him veins are vines – I try to explain to this little tyke how I came to have this display that has caught his attention – his only concern is “does it hurt Grandma?” – I reassure him that it does not hurt – by this time I am a little self conscious of my newly names “vines”

Satisfied that the “vines” do not hurt – he then asks me “what are those mushies?” “Mushies, what mushies Aric?" I say – “those ones under your chin” he replys – takes me a few minutes to understand what he is talking about – his focus has changed from my knee to the small folds of skin that have started to develop on my neck directly under my chin - they have now become the object of his fascination – okay, the morning had not being going well due to the hangover I was dealing with - it had just gotten way worse with the honest observations of this little man! Having had enough “honest critique” from this much too inquisitive child I try to encourage him to go into the house - it is sunny but cold and he is sitting in his patio chair chattering from the cold – no such luck – he says “I’m okay” – the blue that was setting in around his lips belied this utterance - okay I am not winning around this imp on this morning so I go into the house and find a quilt to wrap him in.

Not long after he is comfy and warming my sister Allana comes out on the deck to join us – he turns his attention to her – I am thrilled, the grilling I had been getting had the same effect on me as a balloon has when the rubber casing is pierced with a pin – deflated, oh yes!

At his tender age, Aric had a multitude of question running around in his mind and he tried valiantly to ask them all this day – Sis Allana had expressed great glee as I told her how my morning had been going before she had joined us – very soon it was to be my turn to get a good laugh at her expense - one of our Mother's favourite sayings "what goes around, comes around" was about to happen.

Sitting on Deb’s deck there was a wonderful view of the surrounding hillside that was heavily dotted with trees – the landscape of trees were as varied as the shades of green they were cloaked with – Aric had been telling Allana a story of how his Dad had taken him up the hill and they had found a

special log

– he waves vaguely toward the north – “up there” he says as he points to the far away hills – Allana nods her head – Aric says “can you see it?” Allana without having turned her head towards the hills as they talked says “Yes” Aric sits there for a moment his brow creasing, deep in thought – his face lights up and he says “what did it look like?” Allana sputtered – turned a light shade of red – got up off her chair and headed with great haste off the deck, back inside the house – never having answered his question of “what did it look like?”

Now doubled over with laughter - this part of the morning ended as a voice from inside the house announced that “breakfast was ready” still smiling I left the deck to join other for pancakes and eggs.

BCG

Highs and lows

Highs and Lows


Introducing Travis

Travis is my eldest grandson – he and I have been working in my yard these last few sunny days – he pruning my fruit trees – me picking up the limbs from the ground, placing them into the wheelbarrow – he wheeling the wheel barrow to a dumping ground on the next street over – at least that is what we did yesterday – today he decided no more wheeling – much more fun to burn the branches in the burn barrel at the back of the property – can’t find any gas in my gas can – I say “paper for a starter” – he says “NO” – goes to my shed and finds a container of paint thinner – sprinkle in barrel – light fire – not burning well – I rake pine needles – we add to barrel – lots of smoke! – he cuts a pokey stick – I insert stick into mass of pine needles saying “making air hole” – he laughs but I had last laugh, it worked – soon a roaring blaze consuming the branches.

Stop for lunch – he has a passion for among other things, tuna – I butter bread, he opens tuna, chops pickles (have to be baby dills – no bread and butter pickles for Trav) he adds salad dressing – I fill sandwiches cut diagonally (his request) we sit down for lunch – discussion starts about age – I say something to the effect of him being twenty – “no Gram, I am twenty-one” then he says something about time going to pass faster now that he is twenty-one – I say, “not to worry, you will always be young in your mind, look at me I still think I am twenty” I think at this point I asked his opinion on my statement – wrong thing to do – he says “well maybe you are in mind but not your body”! – my face falls – this was one of the lows – making lunch with my twenty-one year old grandson was one of the highs.

As I will write down the road, Travis is the reason that my blog is named Boot Camp Grandma

Closing the barn door

Matt is my daughter (Deb) and her husband (Darwin)'s youngest - in the picture he is the one with his mouth open, wearing glasses - the blondie is his older brother Aric - what follows is just a typical day in the life of Matthew - or rather one of the many adventures he has had in his eleven years

The day of December 5th, 2008

This morning Deb phoned, she said during the conversation that she had told Matt if he wanted to play floor hockey at school today he had to take his mouth guard and his helmet to school.

LOL....this is like closing the barn door after the horses have gone.

Yesterday my day started off with a call from Deb at her work, I was asleep when the call came. "Could you go to the school and pick up Matt and take him to the dentist, he was playing floor hockey before school and got hit in the mouth and has a chipped tooth"

I rolled out of bed, brushed my teeth, dressed, got in the jeep, drove through the local A&W got a breakfast bun and headed for the school about 20 mins. from my home. I arrived to find Matt on the couch in the entrance, a teacher Mrs. G came out, I said "oh god" after seeing his mouth, she said "I've wanted to say that ever since it happened" she also said "every time I have to put him back together I get another grey hair, I am about to send Matt the bill for my hairdresser."

Matt opened his mouth to show me his latest war wound, chipped tooth be damned! His front upper tooth on his right side is broken in half at a 45 degree angle, his lower tooth directly below the upper tooth is broken almost to the gum. As we leave Mrs. G says "do you have your milk?"

We load into the jeep his hockey stick, his back pack and a small container which holds milk and head to the dentists office. On arriving Matt goes to the back of my jeep and takes out the container of milk, I say "why are you bringing that in are you thirsty?" he says "no, it's got my teeth in it!"

After an hour and a half in the dentist chair, two partial root canals, x-rays and a skim of enamel on the two broken teeth we find that another tooth on the bottom has a small fracture in it also. I pick up some bananas, soft ice-cream and we come back to my place with his lips swollen. As he had said he was hungry I made up a smoothie with the bananas and ice-cream, we picked up a couple of straws when we got the ice cream, he drank some of the first glass and asked for a cloth as the smoothie had "fell" out of his mouth on my area carpet.

This is the child that walked up the slide at the pool backwards and collided with his mother and older brother coming down the slide. The one that just recently had his head stitched up with needle and thread by his father during a camping trip.

Lord, he does cause some us mental anguish, his parents seem to take all this in stride but his grandmother and one of the teachers at his school are and were a wreck most of the day yesterday and every time he gets a new war wound.

Yesterday Deb was at work, and his dad was driving to Kelowna on business, that is why grandma ended up sitting and watching Matt have what was left of his teeth drilled. Yuck! If no infection sets in and the teeth nerves were not permanently damaged the dentist in January will attempt to attach the broken pieces to the teeth.

That is the story of my yesterday.

P.S.I am happy to say that yes, the pieces of the broken teeth were saved and re-attached in January of this year, no infections surfaced and the teeth remained healthy

Introductions

Professional photo of Ashley at the Miss Canada Pageant in March
of 2008 (just a little birth grandmothers pride here :)

This is Ashley, my oldest granddaughter - I met her for the first time in 1998 – I am her birth grandmother - unfortunately I have seen little of this lovely young woman – geographical and emotional distance has kept me from knowing her as my heart desires - that I have been fortunate enough to have met her and hear small details of her life – I am grateful - as I write about my grandchildren there will be no – sad – happy – bizarre or comedic stories to tell of Ashley’s life – I have only had the privilege of being in her presence three times since meeting her for the first time eleven years ago – this in no way puts her in a lesser compartment of my heart – she like the all of my grandchildren fill and make my heart happy.

Today I start introducing the subjects of this blog – my grandchildren – I am starting with the oldest, Ashley – the following will introduce Matt, he is my youngest grandson – he is a bundle of cosmic energy and has been and will continue to be a huge source of stories for this blog – I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I am enjoying putting it together.

BCG

Take time to be gentle to yourself - love who you are - Grandmothers are like a fine wine, aged to perfection, robust, and worth the wait till they are full bodied - Never sell yourself short, you are a valued addition to your grandchildren's lives!

Not the typical Grandmother

Not the typical Grandmother

No - much to the dismay of my family – I am not the kind, cookie baking Grandmother -
that I am not the typical Grandmother in no way lessens my fierce love of each and every one of my Grandchildren – as I add to this blog – you may have serious doubts about that last statement – do not be fooled – I have been and will be - till I pass on a Grandmother tigress where my grandchildren are concerned – true as you will read, one that will box an ear or two when I feel it is warranted – one who in my grandmotherly concern - at my own peril and pain have opened my mouth hurting my own children – the parents of these special children -– of course I am typical in this instance as I firmly believe that my grandchildren are SPECIAL!

BCG