I hope I do not ramble too much in this note to you but there has been all sorts of thoughts running through my mind this last hour or so. As I was thinking I realized that I needed you to know how much I love and respect you. There are many reasons so I will start:
The love you have shown me in all your writings has not gone unnoticed, like your story of Donna that showed how much you love me and fear for my health. You have written other stories that show the huge amount of respect that you have for me. In these stories I have read between the lines and see the understanding that you have today of the methods that I used in raising you and Rod. Raw and un-knowledgeable as they were I know you understand today that I was doing the best I could to keep you safe and try to guide you to adulthood.
I love you for having the strength to follow your instincts when you decided to go to Darwin, that leap of faith took a huge amount of courage on your part. You left everything and everyone you were familiar with to go to love, what a wonderful thing you did!
I love you for your pain and tears in raising your children, you dig in like a small pit bull and fight for your children to keep them on track and keep them safe. I have a picture with the caption "No pain, no gain" how true when raising children. We have in common many things and I think the commonality of the pain and tenacity that it takes to raise children has brought us much closer and for this I am so thankful. I applaud you for digging deep and going past your ghosts to be strong in heart and mind to raise your children with so much love.
I have heard your pain and doubt about how you handle situations with the kids, especially Travis but you have listened, read, questioned and in the end done what is best for your children. You are a strong woman and a wonderful mother.
I see you unfailingly send out birthday cards to all that you care about and for the most part never receiving acknowledgement. That you cared enough to remember everyone shows me the wonderful fibre that you are made of, I am proud to be your mother.
You have given me lip, laughter, catastrophic fear, feelings of pride (boastful pride I might add), feelings of intense anger, tears and I would not change one moment of any of those feelings. The above listed are what have kept me on my toes over the years and enriched my life.
Since you were four years old I have been in awe of your quick mind and capacity to learn, never lose that capacity dear, keep your mind running free as you explore the years ahead of you. Remember to give and receive hugs from Darwin and the kids at every opportunity it is the best medicine that you can every take.
One of my most favourite memories is of the times that I sat on the couch with you and or Rod and you leaned on me, I knew you were safe at those moments, that was important to me. In my mind I can still feel how soft your hair was as I stroked your head that laid on my knee. Fill your life with those types of memories and it will bring you warm fuzzy feeling as you get older as it does to my tonight.
You my daughter have my love and respect but not because of blood, you have it because you have earned it year after year by being who you are.
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